As I approach my 36th week of pregnancy with my second baby boy I cant help but feel the mom guilt rush over me daily. We only have 32 days to go with Maddox being an only child. It is such a bitter sweet feeling.
I cant help but think of how he is going to feel in the first few months of adjusting to a new baby in the house. He is no longer going to have our undivided attention. It is probably going to be a very confusing and possibly emotionally painful situation for him to deal with and I cant help but wonder how he will react every single day.
I have been trying to find different ways for him to enjoy the idea of “baby brother” but I don’t know how much he truly gets and my feeling is that “baby brother” is going to hit my emotional toddler like a ton of bricks.
We try to talk about baby brother a lot. He hugs and kisses my belly, he says hi to him, he says I love you to him, and those things are all sweet but at 2.5 years old I think thats all he really thinks is happening. My assumption is he just thinks that mommy grew this belly with baby brother in it, and its probably just going to stay like this.
Ive tried to use some of the tactics I have heard of or read on the internet. I let him help me with baby brothers room and he loves that so much. Ive purchased a few small presents to give to Maddox specifically from baby brother as well. At day care they have done some baby doll play with feeding, diaper changes, etc. Maddox loves to help me, so I am hoping that allowing him to step up as the big brother and grab me diapers, wipes, blanket, or diaper cream when I ask will give him a massive sense of accomplishment.
The feeling of doubt and anxiousness is going to be there every step of the way. Along with finding ways to help Maddox cope with this massive transition, I have to make sure I do that for myself as well. Your mental health as a new mom is so important. I was hit with some pretty bad PPD shortly after Maddox was born and taking steps to avoid that as much as possible is pretty important. I don’t only have one baby to take care of anymore.
At the end of the day we are only human and these things are expected from motherhood. Making sure it does not negatively impact the well being of your children is whats most important, and that means we have to take care of ourselves to.